1st Round: JohnH 1, George 0
I am a fairly prolific emailer regarding political issues. Sometime my emails get forwarded to other folks. And sometimes the folk who receive these forwarded emails are Democrats that resent any data that happens to threaten their worldview. Sometimes these indignant dolts—thinking that they are setting me straight—write me amusing little notes that only accomplishes digging themselves deeper.
I live to annoy these people with facts.
Anyway, I recently replied to someone about some topic—I cannot remember what it was about—and one of the recipients evidently forwarded whatever I wrote to a certain George S. George subsequently sent me the following email:
[George’s full name and email address redacted to protect his privacy.]
Well, boys and girls, you can already see how much fun we can have with this one. Here’s my reply to George:
Dear George,
I smiled when I received your letter reciting the Democratic Party’s toxic myth that “Al Gore won”. I suppose I’m to understand that you’re convinced that this myth is true.
One of my specialties is ClueBat™ therapy; I see you need intervention.
You didn’t explicitly state the basis of your acceptance of this myth so I will just have to guess what it might be.
Some folk seem to be peeved that Al Gore didn’t win the election even though he won the popular vote. It is not in dispute that Gore won the popular vote but people who are familiar with this country constitution understand that it is the one who wins the majority of the Electoral College vote gets to be the president. Like George Bush said: “the rules say the majority of the electoral college. If they specified a majority of the popular vote I would have run a different campaign.”
Another possibility is that you believe that Al Gore might have won if he won at the Supreme Court. He wouldn’t have.
As you may know, the Democrats conducted a months long search in pursuit of some way of counting the vote that would have made Al Gore president. The Miami Herald reported on their findings and stated in April 2001:
So as you see, Bush won the presidency under either outcome.
Most of your email was based on the premise that “Gore won”. Now that I’ve shown the premise that you based the rest of your email on to be false I don’t need to invest any more time refuting the remainder of your email. I reached this conclusion using a little mental trick I call “logic”, that is the ability to reason correctly.
Since you evidently believe that Al Gore won the presidency you might also believe he invented the Internet. Very well, I will humor you.
I recommend you use Al Gore’s invention to fact check your emails before you send them to those who are already familiar with basic facts. For example, a few minutes with google would have spared you the embarrassment caused by your “Al Gore won” comment.
I apologize if I have exposed you to any trivially accessible information that threatened your worldview. But, as you know, you cannot make an omelet with out breaking stale clichés and all of that.
Perhaps next week we can work on, say, Blood for oil”; if, of course, you think you can survive another ClueBat session
My Best Regards
JohnH
George immediately responded with:
Well folks, leaving aside George’s other assertions, contrary to his previous email he now assertes that “Whether or not Gore won Florida in 2000 is a non-issue”. Well I’m glad we cleared that up!
A little more quick analysis: George doesn’t exactly concede that Al Gore didn’t win in 2000; he just claims that his preceding email’s primary point is actually “a non-issue” and changes the subject.
Whatever. I’ll whip him on his new issues too.
At this point I’m feel justified in declaring that I’ve won the first round.
JohnH 1 – George 0
I live to annoy these people with facts.
Anyway, I recently replied to someone about some topic—I cannot remember what it was about—and one of the recipients evidently forwarded whatever I wrote to a certain George S. George subsequently sent me the following email:
[George’s full name and email address redacted to protect his privacy.]
Subject: Reality
The GOP warned us what would happen if Gore was elected in 2000:
1. We would go to war.
2. The national debt would soar.
3. The US economy would plummet.
4. The stock market would plunge.
5. Unemployment would be rampant.
6. The US dollar would quickly decline in value.
7. We would have a huge budget deficit.
They were right.
Gore won and all those things happened.
Well, boys and girls, you can already see how much fun we can have with this one. Here’s my reply to George:
Dear George,
I smiled when I received your letter reciting the Democratic Party’s toxic myth that “Al Gore won”. I suppose I’m to understand that you’re convinced that this myth is true.
One of my specialties is ClueBat™ therapy; I see you need intervention.
You didn’t explicitly state the basis of your acceptance of this myth so I will just have to guess what it might be.
Some folk seem to be peeved that Al Gore didn’t win the election even though he won the popular vote. It is not in dispute that Gore won the popular vote but people who are familiar with this country constitution understand that it is the one who wins the majority of the Electoral College vote gets to be the president. Like George Bush said: “the rules say the majority of the electoral college. If they specified a majority of the popular vote I would have run a different campaign.”
Another possibility is that you believe that Al Gore might have won if he won at the Supreme Court. He wouldn’t have.
As you may know, the Democrats conducted a months long search in pursuit of some way of counting the vote that would have made Al Gore president. The Miami Herald reported on their findings and stated in April 2001:
What would have happened if the U.S. Supreme Court had not halted the sweeping recount of undervotes -- ballots without presidential votes detected by counting machines -- ordered by the Florida Supreme Court on Dec. 8, a month after the November election?
The answer: under almost all scenarios, Bush still would have won.
So as you see, Bush won the presidency under either outcome.
Most of your email was based on the premise that “Gore won”. Now that I’ve shown the premise that you based the rest of your email on to be false I don’t need to invest any more time refuting the remainder of your email. I reached this conclusion using a little mental trick I call “logic”, that is the ability to reason correctly.
Since you evidently believe that Al Gore won the presidency you might also believe he invented the Internet. Very well, I will humor you.
I recommend you use Al Gore’s invention to fact check your emails before you send them to those who are already familiar with basic facts. For example, a few minutes with google would have spared you the embarrassment caused by your “Al Gore won” comment.
I apologize if I have exposed you to any trivially accessible information that threatened your worldview. But, as you know, you cannot make an omelet with out breaking stale clichés and all of that.
Perhaps next week we can work on, say, Blood for oil”; if, of course, you think you can survive another ClueBat session
My Best Regards
JohnH
George immediately responded with:
[Full name and email redacted]
Subject: How Sad
Mr. [My last name redacted],
What you don’t understand is HOW BAD Bush is for America. Under his leadership this is what occurred the last 3.5 years:
1. We fought an unjust war. We were lied to about why we went to war with Iraq. You know it was a lie and it’s been one revisionist reason after another since the lies became known.
2. The national debt soared.
3. The US economy has plummeted.
4. The stock market has plunged.
5. Unemployment has been rampant. Bush is the 1st president in a century that lost more jobs then were created.
6. The US dollar has lost significant value.
7. America’s budget deficit is HUGE thanks to Bush. Remember he had a Republican congress, so you are gonna blame?
Whether or not Gore won Florida in 2000 is a non-issue. The question is: Has Bush been a successful president? The answer is: undeniably NO he has not. He’s been the worst president in our history. And if he wins a second term, the damage he’ll cause may be incurable during our lifetimes.
Well folks, leaving aside George’s other assertions, contrary to his previous email he now assertes that “Whether or not Gore won Florida in 2000 is a non-issue”. Well I’m glad we cleared that up!
A little more quick analysis: George doesn’t exactly concede that Al Gore didn’t win in 2000; he just claims that his preceding email’s primary point is actually “a non-issue” and changes the subject.
Whatever. I’ll whip him on his new issues too.
At this point I’m feel justified in declaring that I’ve won the first round.
JohnH 1 – George 0
posted by johnh | 3:56 PM
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